Freelancing: the fear and the freedom

I’m reinventing my blog to talk about my experiences as a freelance writer. There may well be other bits and pieces that sneak in every now and then, but that’s all part of the fun.

So, I’m in my first month as a fully freelance copywriter. At the end of June I walked away from a full-time job to go it alone. I’ve been freelancing around that job for a good few years now, so I wasn’t entirely unprepared, but even so, going from the stability of a regular pay cheque to the uncertainty of freelancing is a bit nerve wracking.

The fear

I had my first taste of the fear a couple of weeks before I left my job. I suddenly had an “oh my goodness what the f**k are you doing??” thought racing round my head. Money (or the lack thereof) is, sadly, the thing that terrifies me most. It’s the worry of not making the mortgage payment, or falling behind on other bills.

There’s also a niggling sense of ‘what if I fail?’ in the mix, but that bothers me less. If this doesn’t work out and I have to go back to being gainfully employed then so be it.

But what do you do about the fear when it strikes? My approach was to go through my finances in detail, make sure I hadn’t miscalculated - and realising I’d be alright, at least for the next couple of months was a big relief.

I also can’t thank my friends and family enough for their constant reassurance that I wasn’t making a huge mistake, and that actually I’m not bad at stringing words together. They’ve helped probably more than they know.

The freedom

One of my major reasons for going freelance was to have more flexibility and freedom in my life. I’ve reconciled myself to the fact that my retirement age (which is already over 70) is only going to rise, so I need to enjoy every day now rather than wait for that magical time when I can afford to give up work - frankly I’ll be surprised if that ever happens.

I love the fact that I can choose to take my dog for a longer walk than usual if the mood takes me. Or that I can take a sunny afternoon off to chill out at the beach. Or that if I’m really not in the mood for writing (assuming I have no pressing deadlines) I can just leave it for a few hours and do something else. It’s incredibly invigorating to have that level of control over how I spend my days.

My first month has definitely had its ups and downs, but overall I’m feeling happier, more relaxed and very positive about the future.

How can I resist the chance to spend more time here??