Why is it so hard to give yourself a break?

Whatever you do for work, in your spare time, or generally in life, I’m willing to bet that you probably feel like you should be doing a little bit more.

As a freelancer, I’ve increasingly noticed how I’m pushing myself to just do a little more work; to just spend a bit of extra time hunting for new projects; to just write that blog for myself that I’ve been meaning to do for ages.

And when I don’t do those extra bits, I feel guilty. Sometimes I even get angry with myself. Not just over work-related things either. If I skip my morning yoga practice I feel like I’m failing in some way. If I don’t use my free time productively, I feel as though it’s wasted (even though sometimes we all need to curl up with a book or movie and some chocolate and not move for a few hours).

Since the start of this year, I’ve realised how silly this is and how much I’m doing it to myself. At the beginning of January, I told myself my aim for this year was to post one blog a month in 2019. 12 blogs in total. Simple. Except January came and went, and this is now my first post of the year.

I was feeling annoyed at myself for failing so early in the year. And then I stopped and started to think about why I felt like I’d failed. Did it really matter if I wrote two posts in February? Probably not.

Writing a blog for myself has been on my to-do list for the last three weeks, always getting overlooked in favour of something else; usually work I’m getting paid for. I realised I was making things more difficult for myself.

I’ve been beating myself up about not writing anything for well over a week. Part of the problem was that I didn’t know what I wanted to write about this month. I’ve actually started and abandoned two other posts. But as soon as I stopped being angry that I hadn’t done it and just accepted where I was, I had an idea. And now I’m writing.

One of my yoga teachers is always saying that we’re often our harshest critics. She’s absolutely right. I know I am. It feels as though there’s always something else I should or could be doing, but sometimes, what I should be doing is nothing.

Last year I made a conscious effort to be more present – take a look at my blog about it if you’re interested. This year I’m going to give myself a break. I’m going to try really hard to be content with what I’m achieving and to allow myself a bit more downtime.

That’s not to say I’m going to lose all motivation and stop trying to improve personally and professionally. But I’m hoping that if I give myself a bit more time off and am a little kinder to myself that the motivation for self improvement will come more easily.

We’ll see how it goes. For now I’m just pleased that I’ve written a blog and published it.

Taking a stand against a plastic tide

Anyone who knows me well will know that I’ve always had a love affair with the ocean. To me, it’s always felt like home. It’s the part of the planet that I think needs our help the most, and the one that often gets the least attention.

When I was younger, the cute and furry creatures that inhabit the rain forests of the world captured everyone’s attention and won their hearts. Sadly, for most people, fish and the other incredible sea creatures don’t have the same ‘ahhhh’ appeal.

Don’t get me wrong, I also care about what happens to our rain forests, but the oceans hold a special place in my heart. I’ve been both encouraged and dismayed by what’s been happening in recent years.

Seeing people galvanised to action to protect and save the oceans has been wonderful. I feel like it’s long overdue. But the documentaries and evidence that’s been provided to show just how badly they need saving has frequently left me in tears.

What to do?

When faced with such a monumental task, it’s hard to know where to start, especially when you’re just one person. I’ve been trying to make lifestyle changes to do my bit to reduce plastic waste and to generally be a better human.

That means I avoid plastic packaged products when I’m shopping, I’m supporting ethical and eco-friendly businesses and I’m trying to be a more conscious consumer. I’ve noticed in just the year and half I’ve been doing this how much my attitude to shopping has changed. And I’m glad of it.

I’m making little changes when I can, and gradually they’re stacking up. It feels like an uphill battle at the beginning but once you get going it becomes easier and easier to make the next change, even if it’s less convenient to start with.

Getting better at baking bread is on my list of things to master this winter, for instance. And I’m really lucky to finally have a health food store in Bournemouth (Sunrise Organics for anyone who’s interested) that has a zero waste section where you can buy dry goods like lentils, beans, rice and nuts in bulk with no plastic packaging.

Raising awareness

I’ll happily chat away to anyone about how to move away from single-use plastics. I’m not even going to pretend that I’m done with my journey, I’m only just getting started. But I’m encouraged by how many people I know who are doing the same thing. Making similar little changes for the better.

One of the other things I regularly do is pick up litter, especially from the beach, on my dog walks. This summer I’ve found that there was a lot less litter than last year, and that in itself is an extremely encouraging sign that some of the messages are getting through.

Often on my beach cleans I’ll find beach toys, and in particular sand moulds, that have either been lost or discarded. They’ve been stacking up in my flat and this year I had an idea for a little art project. I’m not going to claim to be an artist - far from it - but apparently I can sketch a half-decent sea creature.

If you follow me on Instagram you may have seen some photos of my sketches popping up, but if not I’ve shared a few in this post. The idea is to highlight the scale of plastic pollution in our oceans. Do you want your children, grandchildren, nephews, nieces and all the other kids in this world to grow up with more chance of seeing a plastic fish, or the real deal?

Current projections suggest there will be more plastic than fish in the world’s oceans by 2050. That’s really not all that far away and that statistic terrifies me. If it also terrifies you, and you want to chat about cutting your plastic use, drop me a line. I’m happy to share the solutions I’ve found that work for me.

Seahorses are too cute to go extinct

One of the feistiest creatures in the rock pool

Plastic doesn't seem quite so appetising

We don't want common to become a misnomer

These little guys are just awesome

The power of a nap

I’m just going to come out and say it, I love having a nap. They are life savers sometimes. I’m not just talking about those nice lazy Sunday afternoons where you fall asleep on the sofa watching trashy TV. I mean a nap in the middle of the working day.

There’s a lot to be said for power naps. If you’ve never taken one, try it next time you’re feeling sleepy at your desk. I guarantee after 15 minutes you’ll feel more awake than if you’d downed three cups of coffee.

One of the things I love about being freelance is having a bit more flexibility with my time. That means I can take naps if I’m feeling tired. I’m not slacking when I do this (honest) - it’s a way to boost my productivity for the next few hours.

And it works so well. A 10-15 minute nap will keep me going with work for another 3-4 hours. Not just in the sense that I’m able to keep working, but in the sense that I feel alert and energised in a way that I never do if I just try to push through.

Caught napping?

When I had a regular, full-time job there were afternoons where I just felt incredibly sleepy. There wasn’t always a logical reason for it; some days we’re just more tired than others. On those days I’d long for somewhere I could curl up and sleep for 10 minutes.

I remember once suggesting that we should get hammocks in a breakout room so that we could nap in the day - a suggestion that my bosses laughed at. I wasn’t joking, but clearly they thought it was a silly idea.

I’ve also fallen asleep at my computer, jumped as I awoke and had to look around to see if anyone had noticed (don’t pretend you’ve never done that either). One day I even resorted to curling up under my desk for a quick 10 minute nap. Not the most comfy place to snooze I admit, but just closing my eyes for a few minutes gave me the boost of energy I needed to make it through the afternoon.

And not only to make it through the afternoon, but to actually be productive. That afternoon I did work. If I hadn’t had my brief nap, I probably would have pretended to do work for a couple of hours and then left the office as early as possible.

The science of a nap

I think that my anecdotal evidence is quite strong - I certainly know that power naps work for me. But there’s science to back this up too! I found this article in the Guardian and while it’s a few years old the studies it cites are still valid.

For instance, a Nasa study found that pilots on long flights who take a 26-minute nap see their performance improve by 34% and their alertness improve by 54%. You have to admit, that’s impressive.

What’s also really interesting is that sleep guru Nick Littlehayes explained in the Guardian article that napping doesn’t even have to mean sleeping. Taking yourself somewhere quiet, closing your eyes and disconnecting from the world for that short period of time is enough to boost your energy and productivity.

So while I might have felt a little foolish to nap under my desk, I actually had science on my side.

For now I’m just glad that I mostly work from home, so on the days when I do feel the need for a power nap I have a bed or sofa to curl up on. If you’ve never had a power nap - try one next time you’re feeling tired in the middle of the day. You won’t regret it.